8:30 PM

it's approaching that time of the night. the time we set as bedtime for the girls. we're all lying in bed now watching the latest episode of some inane pre-school show. the girls are screaming "MAP, MAP, MAP!!" it's a bad habit we've established, watching 30 minutes of tv before bedtime. it's passive, but i found myself needing it. just needing to shut down for a little while, but still be with them. they are calm, i'm settled, diapers are changes, pj's are donned and bedtime is looming.

after the show, we all climb into their shared bed.. a mattress on the floor. we turn the lights low, and we read books, tell stories, and sing quiet songs. bc3 is the story teller and i sing the songs. we've taken to singing "kookaburra sits on the old gum tree," "twinkle twinkle," "somewhere over the rainbow," and that old jump rope song, "strawberry shortcake cream on top..tell me the name of your sweetheart." classics. songs i remember from childhood myself.

bc3 tells the story of "wind in the windows," as pearl calls it. he tells it different everytime.. the actual book is just too wordy to actually read. same with "james and the giant peach"...scary parts gleened over, no mention of ghosts at all.

the best story told is the one about princess mommy and monkey daddy. it's the 2 minute version of how bc3 and i met, our first date, our engagement, and the appearance of prince toby, princess lily and princess pearl.

if all goes well, we kiss, hug, and tuck in. we close the door "just a little bit" and they are off to sleep. if all goes well there is no screaming, crying, begging for 5 more minutes, cries of hunger because of course we haven't fed them dinner, fruit, dessert, cheese sticks, nuts and yogurt.

i breath a sigh of relief, but always secretly, later in the evening, i peer in their room, hoping that they wake up so i can spend just a little more time with them.