A LIFE HALF LIVED

check out my score card on the right.. 2007- 103 posts vs. 2008-33 posts. this is pitiful! and it's very much nearing the end of the year. 2008 is drawing to a close, and i've had the most tumultuous year i can remember in all of my adult life.. and obviously i've been blocked to write about it.

this year, i turned my life upside down. i left my job. i'm considering moving my family halfway across the country to a land locked (RED) state which most people couldn't find on a map if it was labeled with a tack stuck to it. (my friend still keeps saying we're moving to minnesota...and i keep correcting... wisconsin!!!.. doesn't matter, still cold, and still not new york!)

it's everything i've ever asked for...an exceptionally well paid job where my commute would be 5 minutes, i'd have a 5 bedroom, 3 bath mcmansion for less than most 4 year college tuitions. i'd have time with my daughters, my husband.. our time would be our own, and life would be comfortable and affordable and practical.

but is that what i'm looking for, comfortable and affordable and practical? don't i want extraordinary, and unique? different, exciting, charmed, whirlwind, and dramatic? or do i want calm, and dependable? i can't decide, and i'm beginning to be aware that i'm a changeable, and intrinsically conflicted person. i have this idea in my head of the person i want to be, the life i want to lead, and neither the life i'm leading or the path i'm following will put me in that direction!

i'm near ready for a change, either way i decide to go.. west or stay east, something has to be shaken up... a life lived in fear is a life half lived, "they" say. stay tuned. hopefully next year, my score will improve.